This list will be updated as more church billboards are discovered.
#DadJokes. I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later. Call me Dad.
'Friend' Jesus - look Him up on Faithbook.
"Big Bang theory? You've got to be kidding." ~ God
"C'mon over and bring the kids." ~ God
"Do you have any idea where you're going?" ~ God
"Don't make me come down there." ~ God
"Follow me." ~ God
"Have you read my #1 best seller? There's going to be a test." ~ God
"I love you and you and you and you and…" ~ God
"Just love everyone. I'll sort 'em out later" ~ God
"Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer." ~ God
"Let's meet at my house Sunday, before the game." ~ God
"Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage." ~ God
"My way is the highway." ~ God
"Need direction?" ~ God
"Tell the kids I love them." ~ God
"That "Love They Neighbor" thing... I meant it." ~ God
"We need to talk." ~ God
"What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?" ~ God
"Will the road you're on get you to my place?" ~ God
"You think it's hot here?" ~ God
A loose tongue often gets into tight spots.
Acting perfect in church is like dressing up for an X-ray.
Adam & Eve, the first people to not read the Apple terms & conditions.
Adultery is a sin. U can't have your Kate & Edith too.
All I need today is a little March Madness and a whole lot of Jesus.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
At this point, Jesus doesn't need to take the wheel... He needs to pull over and spank some of y'all with his flip flop.
ATM inside. Atonement, Truth and Mercy.
Bacon is 73% fat and super salty. Me too, bacon, me too.
Be thankful you don't get what you deserve. Happy thanksgiving.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em. He'll clean 'em.
Before there was Twitter, there were church signs.
Being Christian means not hating. We know... it makes football season hard.
Blah blah blah. Just come to church.
Bored? Try a missionary position.
Bring your sin to the altar and drop it like it’s hot.
Catchup with Jesus. Lettuce praise & relish Him. 'Cuz He loves me from my head to-ma-toes.
CH__CH. What's missing? U R
Christian singles be like - Username: psalmbodytolove
Choose the Bread of Life or you are toast.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden.
Conscience is God's natural warning system.
Cremation is your last chance for a smoking hot body.
Dear weather. Stop showing off. We get it, you’re hot.
Do you know what hell is? Come listen to our preacher!
Don't hoard (toilet papers). Even Noah took only two of each.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Egg hunts are proof that kids can find things when they really want to.
Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
Exercise daily. Run from Satan, walk with God.
Faith is like Wi-Fi. It's invisible but it has the power to connect you to what you need.
Feeling hot? We're prayer conditioned!
Fire inside. Come get lit.
Football is over, get back to church.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Forgive your enemies... it messes with their heads.
Forgiveness is swallowing when you’d rather spit.
Free coffee. Everlasting life. Yes, membership has it's privileges.
Gardening for God brings peas of mind.
God answers Knee-Mail.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God doesn't show favouritism, but our sign guy does. Go cubs!
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God is more powerful than Thanos.
God is perfect. Only man makes misteaks.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I did not read.
God's favourite word is come.
Google cannot satisfy every search. Everyone welcome.
Gossip is the devil's radio. Are you his DJ?
Happy Easter to our Christian friends. Happy Passover to our Jewish friends. To our atheist friends… good luck!
He who angers you, controls you!
Hello world... what are we offended by today?
Her nickname is mom, but her full name is mom, mom, mom, mom. Happy Mother’s Day!
Hipster, Jesus loved you before you were cool.
Honk if you love Jesus. Text and drive if you want to meet Him.
Hunting for ghosts? We’ve got one. It's Holy!
I danced like no one was watching and now I'm on YouTube.
I don't like this virus. I wanted Zombies!
I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
I was going to waste but Jesus recycled me.
I wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitos.
If cats could text you, they wouldn't.
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
If Mary is the mother of Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
If the earth was flat, cats would push everything off it.
If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
If you fall, I will be there - Sincerely, floor.
If you have to gamble, bet on the man riding the donkey.
If you're a fan of Stranger Things, you should try a church potluck.
Inflation hasn’t affected the price of salvation.
It's summer. Enjoy the Son-shine!
Jesus - He'll be there for you.
Jesus is the gift you won’t return.
Jesus is the Potter, not Harry.
Jesus loves you snow much!
Laughing is good exercise - like jogging on the inside.
Lent - a time to examine your selfie.
Lettuce be kind, squash gossip, turnip for church.
Life is ugly, get a faith lift.
Looking for Mr Right? He is here and this is His house!
Luck of the Irish? Nah, faith in Jesus.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
Mayo light shine for Jesus.
Memberships available free to everyone under the Son.
Men wanted to sin in our choirs Monday nights.
Midnight mass and toga party. BYOBJ (Bring Your Own Baby Jesus)
Moses - the first person with a tablet downloading data from the cloud.
Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.
My wife rearranged the labels on our spice rack. I haven’t confronted her yet, but the thyme is cumin.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.
No one ever talks about Jesus’s miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s.
Noah was a brave man to sail in a wooden boat with two termites.
Not needed in heaven: clock, doc, lock, glock, H&R Block.
Our 2nd favourite King James is Lebron.
Pastors feed and lead, members swallow and follow.
Pollen - when flowers don’t keep it in their plants.
Prayer - the original wireless connection.
Pretend it's Easter and come back this Sunday.
Prevent truth decay, brush up on your Bible.
Remember that Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Santa clause never died for anyone.
Sign guy on vacation. Just pretend it says something witty.
Silly rabbit, Easter is for Jesus.
Skip rope, not church.
Sometimes you're a windshield, sometimes you're a bug.
Sorry for the lack of new funny signs. The sign guy discovered TikTok.
Staying in bed shouting "oh God!" does not constitute going to church.
Swallowing pride will never give you indigestion.
The best gift a mother can give is time spent on her knees.
The Bible is not antique, nor is it modern, it is eternal.
The devil's trick is no treat.
The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
Then Satan said, "put the alphabet in math".
There are some things that can’t be answered by Google.
These gas prices are why the armies in revelation are riding horses.
This church is like a Snickers... sweet with a few nuts.
This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it’s gonna pass.
Tis the season for stretch pants!
Tis the season to be freezing!
To err is human. To ‘Arrr’ is pirate.
Tomb for sale, only used for 3 days.
Too hot to keep changing signs. Sin bad. Jesus good. Details inside.
Trust in God, but lock your car.
Turn Life's Cares into Prayers.
Volunteers needed to help relocate our choir loft. We need an organ transplant!
Wanna taco bout Jesus? He can soften your hard shell. Come in and lettuce party.
Want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.
Warning: exposure to The Son may prevent burning.
Wash hands. Do not touch face. Hygenesis 24:7.
Wash your hands and say your prayers, Jesus and germs are everywhere.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
We have the best coffee! Jesus is here too!
We love hurting people!
What happens in Vegas is forgiven here!
When you pray, don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
Where did Noah put the woodpeckers?
Whoever stole our AC units, keep one. It is hot where you're going.
Will whoever is praying for snow please stop.
With all this rain we need an ark. Fear not! We Noah guy.
You can't keep a good man down. Happy Easter!
You have one new friend request from Jesus. Confirm / Ignore.
List of websites for church billboards: